I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and play doctors and nurses with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all I knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, and it didn't bother me, because I didn't know what I didn't know and I didn't care. All I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worry or upset. I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simply again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow. So . . . here's my cheque book and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my mobile phone. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause... ...."Tag! You're it." Pass this to someone and brighten their day by helping them remember the Simple things in Life.

Hope You'll join me!

Your first heaven birthday with your mum, who mourned your loss for years and was last August reunited with you and your sister Jade. Sending out loving thoughts in David's 24th year.

'You're a Special Little Spirit,' the all great Master said,
As he gently caressed the curly blond hair of the Little Spirit's Head.
'you need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, to grow.

The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed her head,
And from her eye a tear did steal and down her cheek it shed.
'Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here, You'll hardly know you've been gone.
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye.'
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed His Little Spirit good-bye.

'I'm back,' the Little Spirit whispered, as she climbed onto her Master's knee,
And the Master said, 'I told you, you would not be long away from me.'
And then, the Lord, He noticed still another tear welled in her eye.
'Why are you so sad, Little Spirit, whatever should make you cry?'

'I'm glad I'm back,' the Spirit said, 'but Master you must surely know,
When your angel came to get me, I didn't want to go.
I know you said you needed me and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?'

The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said,'Come walk with me.'
The Little Spirit and her Lord walked slowly hand in hand,
As the Master explained Her special part in the great and marvelous plan.

'Now Lord, I don't mean to argue, I understand you need me home.
But I left in such a hurry, I left everyone hurting and so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know how much I loved them so.
I was much too small to tell them, Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did, how can I ever tell them why?'

'Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy with the message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore, I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll content and give peace to their aching hearts, so they will understand.

The Little Spirit looked up at her Master and said 'Thank you for explaining it to me.
And could you please tell them I'm safe and happy and that someday they'll be here with me.'

'Yes,' said the Lord with a smile and a nod, 'I'll tell them all that I can.'
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit, as the Lord let go of her hand.
He said, 'I'll tell them you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul to keep Heaven from getting cold.'

Author Unknown

http://cjcphoto.com/can/

The best "click" you will do today!

Not me....

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.

He placed one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering.

You could tell they were thinking, That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ;No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked What is it you are waiting for

She answered

(This is great)

"

"

THE TEETH

For once the spelling mistakes aren't mine!

Dear Connie ,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost m e a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.
She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.
What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'm never really thought of that before.
I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'm tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.
Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.
Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totall y hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."
Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.
And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.
If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.
Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is.
Love, John

A bizarre sexual rendezvous involving carrots and crack cocaine has led to three arrests.

Police charged three people Sunday with stealing a laptop computer from a Newton man as collateral for an insufficient check used for sexual purposes, according to court documents.

According to court documents, Newton resident Brendan O'Neill, 46, of 441 Lowell Ave., wanted to watch Carlton Haynes, 37, Alicia Culipher, 23, and Tara Bowers, 27, shower together in his home.

Bowers said that O'Neill tried "to involve carrots as a type of sex toy" during the episode, according to court documents.

O'Neill told police he met Haynes at a bar in Chinatown and made arrangements to buy crack cocaine and watch the three shower at his home, according to court documents.

O'Neill told police he wrote out a check for $150 for crack cocaine that was used at his house, which was later confirmed by Haynes, according to court documents.

When O'Neill discovered he had insufficient funds to cover the check, Haynes, Culipher and Bowers left, taking O'Neill's Sony laptop as collateral, according to court documents.

Police received a call from O'Neill and stopped Haynes, Culipher and Bowers at the intersection of Lowell Avenue and Otis Street.

According to court documents, police believed Bowers was high on drugs. She later admitted she had been smoking crack cocaine for three days and had just recently finished 7 grams of crack cocaine at O'Neill's home.

Police also discovered Bowers had a warrant out for her arrest out of Boston District Court for disorderly conduct.

Haynes was found with a glass pipe and O'Neill's laptop computer and cell phone in a bag. Haynes also had two checks in his possession. One for $150 and the other for $750.

O'Neill claimed Haynes stole a check from his checkbook and wrote out a draft for $750. Haynes told police the check for $750 was written to the group for sexual favors.

According to court documents, police questioned Haynes, Culipher and Bowers who gave a similar account of what happened at O'Neill's home.

Haynes, of 164 Intervale St., Boston; Culipher, of 151 Garland St., Everett; and Bowers, of 10 Burnett St., Jamaica Plain, were charged with larceny over $250. Haynes was additionally charged with possession of a Class B substance.

According to court documents, police said they would be seeking a criminal application against O'Neill in Newton District Court for three counts of paying for sexual conduct and falsely reporting a crime

A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
"Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have Molly the camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about 'urges'. The camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges' and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly.
When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?",
No not really, sir..
"They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."

Quote of the Day
"We are, each of us, angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other."
– Luciano Decrescenzo

A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
Breeding Bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See, he
mated 50 times last year ... Once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This
bull mated 120 times last year."
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than
twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in
capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from
this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with
the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.