A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished
to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently
on the pillow that was
addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she
opened the envelope with
trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom,:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
writing you. I had to elope with
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Dad and you. I have
been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
Piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact
that she is much older than I am. But it's
not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will
pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She
deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know
how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so
that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things
in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.